Monday, August 11, 2008
I'm sitting at the spareparts reception of Boustead this morning, waiting for my car's turn to be serviced. I'm staring at the clock hanging on the wall *day-dreaming*, while everyone were busy with their works. I find myself thinking over all the changes that have occurred in my life over the past years. So many unexpected changes, each one seems as it should be more difficult to deal with than the previous.
They seem difficult, unbearably so. Yes, so hard which giving up seems to be the only answers to conclude all of it, but that's what so miraculous about it all. I have dealt with them. I am dealing with them. And though when I allow myself to really feel what I'm feeling, to recognize the hardships and the complete life transformations that accompany them, there are mixture of terrifying and overwhelming. But, on a day-to-day basis, life doesn't feel awfully sad or difficult.
Ermm... Tinggal d mana?
Bukit Beruang, Perpindhan Bukit Beruang
Ahh~ Jauh tu ah dari sana kemari?
Buleh jua la~ Sampai sudah milleage keretaku iatah bawa servicing
Karja dah?
Ah wu, d RTB.
Alhamdullilah, baguslah. Happy parents mu tu eh.
Ur father, kerja d mana?
I thought about it for a minute, smiled and said,
Nda ku pasti jua ah, sal lama jua dah nda ku tahu khabar tentang my father.
Sorry eh~
It's okie, nada pa2 eh. I smiled back to the guy.
And that's when I started thinking about it: Our lives don't come with remote controls. We're not granted the opportunity to pause life when things get tough, fast forward through painful events, or rewind to relive joyous moments all over again. As nice as it sounds, we just don't get to do that. So we really have to learn to appreciate the happy occasions; live them unabashedly and be in the moment fully for each of them. As for the tough times, we just gotta go through them. And, as I am learning, though hurtful, they often sound worse than they actually feel as they're happening. Because during those times, we are bulldozing through, doing what we need to survive, move forward, steady our footing and heal.
After all, the only way out of something, is through it. We have to go through. And what helps on those particular journeys, of course, is to always be grateful for and ready to experience and relish the joyous and happy moments that are undoubtedly once again on their way.
"I'm just doing it. Every day, I'm doing it."
